[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":88},["ShallowReactive",2],{"seo-page-categories-en":3,"seo-page-en-personal-stories-small-gesture-big-impact":13,"seo-pages-en-personal-stories":44},{"data":4},[5,9],{"id":6,"name":7,"description":8},"self-awareness-guides","Self-awareness guides","Practical guides for spotting your triggers, recurring thoughts and habits, and for telling a real pattern from one bad day.",{"id":10,"name":11,"description":12},"personal-stories","Personal stories","Personal stories from the founder of undrstand",{"data":14},{"id":15,"collection":10,"entry":16,"locale":17,"slug":16,"title":18,"description":19,"heading":20,"body":21,"reading_minutes":22,"faq":23,"image":33,"alternates":34,"dated_at":41,"published_at":42,"published_by":43,"updated_at":42},"a2f6f050-ca07-4254-8692-479ae883414f","small-gesture-big-impact","en","A Small Gesture, a Big Impact: One Question Saved My Degree","I had one attempt left at a maths test and kept avoiding it, until a friend asked me one simple question. A story about how much a small gesture can do.","How you can help someone with small gestures","## A story how someone’s small gesture had massive positive effect on me\n\nImagine an anxious, sad and stressed student in his second year of the software engineering study. Well, that was me about 4 years ago. Quite literally a breaking point in my life. This is the story of how a small gesture of my friend let to massive (amazing) impact.\n\nSo let me give you some context while we go down memory lane; it was rainy and shitty weather all month and the corona virus had closed down all establishments. There was nothing (of course there were other things, but I didn’t know that yet, lol) to do but to ruminate on my arch nemesis: the math test from my first year of my study. I had skipped it 3 times and I only had 1 attempt left before I would would have been asked, in a friendly way, to find a new career, lol. I bumped up a difficulty level with this study and had never had any lectures in it. Most of my classmates already knew the math and how to solve the problems, I had no idea and got overwhelmed. So what’d I do? I skipped all classes and ignored the tests, pretending it didn’t exist. This worked, for a while, haha. But then the final attempt got closer, so close, that I couldn’t ignore it any longer.\n\n## A small gesture\n\nYou might think: “he has to take action now”. Well you’re right, but of course I kept postponing starting this thing. So the stress and anxiety got more intense. Luckily there were ways to inhale “relaxation”, lol. So I called my friend and asked if we could hangout. He, like the absolute bro he is, said sure let’s go! We were chilling and cracking jokes. Eventually I was like f it, I need help, I’m going to ask him for advice. Which is one of the hardest things to do. I told him how I need to finish this test or I would have to quit school. He thought for a bit and gave me the simplest, yet most deep question: “Do you want to get your degree?”. It was dead silent for a couple of seconds while this question hit me real hard, in a nice way. I looked up to him and said, with conviction: “Yes”. Then he said: “Well then just go and do it”.\n\n## Massive impact\n\nI don’t know why, I still don’t know why, his words had so much impact on me. Even writing this gives me chills. But the next day I started preparing for the test. With his words still fresh in my mind. I dropped all less important things and went on a learning streak for 10 days straight. On the day of the test I was stressed in a way I had never experienced before. But I did all I could, I had given it my all. Some excruciating long days went by, then I received the e-mail with my result. I opened it and I saw that I had passed the test. I felt a relieve like I had never felt before, I took a deep breath and exhaled. Everything that I bottled up for so long, well you can imagine what happened. Of course I let my bro know first, and thanked him for it. I still remind him sometimes. He keeps forgetting, but I never will.\n\n## Bless people with your small gestures\n\nI hope this story motivates you to support friends, family and even strangers. It might feel like whatever you say has no effect, it very well could have no effect. But sometimes it does, and it could have an amazing impact on someone! Because here I am, using the skills I learned in my study, to build undrstand.",4,[24,27,30],{"question":25,"answer":26},"How can a small gesture help someone who is struggling?","Sometimes one honest question is enough. In this story a friend asked \"Do you want to get your degree?\", and that was what made me stop avoiding the test and start preparing the next day.",{"question":28,"answer":29},"What do you say to a friend who is stressed and stuck?","You do not need a plan or the perfect words. Making time, listening and asking a simple question about what they want can do more than advice. It may have no effect, and sometimes it has a very large one.",{"question":31,"answer":32},"Why is it so hard to ask for help?","Because saying it out loud means admitting how bad things have become. Asking a friend for advice was one of the hardest things in this story, and it was also the turning point.","https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages\u002Fimages\u002FOXyemI3794Og0FYtnSgp3D2O0QI6sNocFSYbmBoS.webp",[35],{"id":36,"collection":10,"entry":16,"locale":37,"slug":38,"title":39,"description":40,"reading_minutes":22,"image":33,"dated_at":41,"published_at":42,"published_by":43,"updated_at":42},"a2f6f095-08f8-4f3c-9056-ebb4b91bcb37","nl","klein-gebaar-grote-impact","Klein gebaar, grote impact: één vraag redde mijn studie","Ik had nog één kans voor een wiskundetoets en bleef hem ontwijken, tot een vriend me één simpele vraag stelde. Een verhaal over wat een klein gebaar doet.","2024-10-01","2024-10-01T12:00:00.000000Z","Tristan",{"data":45,"links":72,"meta":75},[46,47,56,64],{"id":15,"collection":10,"entry":16,"locale":17,"slug":16,"title":18,"description":19,"reading_minutes":22,"image":33,"dated_at":41,"published_at":42,"published_by":43,"updated_at":42},{"id":48,"collection":10,"entry":49,"locale":17,"slug":49,"title":50,"description":51,"reading_minutes":52,"image":53,"dated_at":54,"published_at":55,"published_by":43,"updated_at":55},"a2f6f0e0-cb1c-4685-93d2-54520550db38","less-is-more-perfectionism-self-awareness","Less Is More: How Perfectionism Holds You Back","Trying too hard and still falling short? A story about going all-in at work, in the gym and on myself, and why slowing down gets you there faster.",2,"https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages\u002Fimages\u002F04MwtKOfnOcGFMfcgGqbLWhdC8NF70PS2wHe6gRr.webp","2024-08-31","2024-08-31T12:00:00.000000Z",{"id":57,"collection":10,"entry":58,"locale":17,"slug":58,"title":59,"description":60,"reading_minutes":52,"image":61,"dated_at":62,"published_at":63,"published_by":43,"updated_at":63},"a2f6f130-a25e-44cb-a060-8cd6e95469e6","why-you-are-procrastinating","Why You Procrastinate: It May Be Belief, Not Laziness","Procrastination is usually blamed on laziness or quick dopamine. Looking back at my degree, I think mine was mostly not believing in what I was doing.","https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages\u002Fimages\u002FZg3ZQviVZkM3Wcx6NpMv8tlD4Qyj2hUtVc6sBlbn.webp","2024-05-31","2024-05-31T12:00:00.000000Z",{"id":65,"collection":10,"entry":66,"locale":17,"slug":66,"title":67,"description":68,"reading_minutes":52,"image":69,"dated_at":70,"published_at":71,"published_by":43,"updated_at":71},"a2f6f1b5-0687-46a2-abf4-f7ee1b4d07de","bad-luck-trigger","My Laptop Died Mid-Deadline: Dealing With a Bad Luck Trigger","My laptop died in the middle of a deadline and my anxiety went through the roof. How journaling and one stoic question turned it around in two hours.","https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages\u002Fimages\u002FFtyBGozDe6hNiXFeUl4yGMquhS302kGype2D1cbM.webp","2024-05-01","2024-05-01T12:00:00.000000Z",{"first":73,"last":73,"prev":74,"next":74},"https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages?page=1",null,{"current_page":76,"from":76,"last_page":76,"links":77,"path":86,"per_page":87,"to":22,"total":22},1,[78,81,84],{"url":74,"label":79,"page":74,"active":80},"« Previous",false,{"url":73,"label":82,"page":76,"active":83},"1",true,{"url":74,"label":85,"page":74,"active":80},"Next »","https:\u002F\u002Fapi.undrstand.com\u002Fseo-pages",1000,1791970020594]